Where do I begin? Oh yes...snow, rain, slush, and leather knee high boots. Rushing around at 11am trying to get to the bank to exchange money for the annual trip and completely soaked right to the knees. I don't actually own a pair of winter boots so my feet were soaked the second I stepped out of the van...Roxie on the other hand is well prepared with knee high leather boots....so she thought. We left Freddy around noon that day...and the skies were angry...like an old man sending back soup at a deli. By the time we made it to Cabelas in Portland, Me it was freezing rain. We actually had to hold each other up trying to skate across the parking lot. If you could picture the two of us falling on our asses...pulling each other down you would laugh until you pissed yourself. We probably should have called it quits there and found shelter for the night...but no no no...two very stubborn women think it is a great idea to continue.
We were half way to Boston when I noticed that the radio antenna was just a huge ice pole. It took us hours and hours to get just outside of Boston. We were cold, wet tired and cranky. I am surprised we still made it to our usual rest stop in Rhode Island. I think Florida brain makes you crazy...we just kept saying to ourselves....warm sun...sandy fun...warm sun...sandy fun. We managed to find our jammies and toothbrushes and made our way into the gas station to change...oh it was so nice to get out of those wet clothes. Everything was perfect...freezing rain turned to rain which is easy listening for sleep time. I was just getting comfy with my sleeping bag and my eye mask when Roxie decided to take off her knee high leather boots that she had been wearing....wet....for the last 10hours!...."OMG! What is that horrid smell?" I don't think I have ever smelled anything that bad in my life. I had to open the door and almost vomit. I actually had to get out and tell her to throw her socks away cause they were not sleeping with us. She laughed and promised she would throw them out so I went to get a drink...still in my jammie pants...with people looking at me funny in the store. Whatever! you travel 36 hours in jeans! When I made it back she was already wrapped up in her sleeping bag half asleep. Drink...check...sleeping bag...check....sleep mask...check....stinky smell? gone!
The next day was beautiful...woke up with sunshine and the sweet sound of cars on the highway. Every once in awhile I would role down the window and let the fresh New York air in...hehe....and caught a wiff...of...New York?....had to be New York....I paid no mind...but once we got into Virgina and the temps went up the windows came down...and what?....what...sniff sniff....yup I know that smell! Roxie...where are the socks? She giggles and says they are under my seat! Yup...I could have killed her. I had to climb in the back seat while in motion with a plastic bag trying to get the socks in gagging the whole time. I am surprised I didn't actually get sick. I tied the bag up nice and tight and put it back under the seat. Now Roxie....throw those out!!!!! She promised she would.
Almost a year later Roxie was in a car accident just outside of Woodstock in the middle of winter. Lucky she was ok but the van was not so lucky. She was called to the junk yard to clean it out...and can you guess what she found under the seat? Yup a year later...those damn socks...she opened it and said she swore they would have walked on their own...they smelled a million times worse. I laughed so hard......she got what was coming to her!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
What is in front of you?
Someone special said to me today...and I quote..."It is funny how you don't really see the things that are right in front of you sometimes". Now thinking about this more carefully I hope it doesn't apply to anything really important like driving....or eating...cause both these things would be a disaster if you couldn't see in front of you. I am pretty sure this statement was meant in a more metaphorical manner.....I have come to realize my passion for writing and blogging seems to have helped...I have been starting to write a book now for years and just can't seem to make it work...but blogging...well blogging is much easier...say what you want and for some reason people want to read it. Why? Why do we read other peoples thoughts? Why do we tell the world ours? Perhaps because you can type what you feel and it just goes out into cyberspace somewhere...and the faceless crowds eat it up like zombies eat up flesh. unlike zombie food blogging is not going to feed my hunger to write...so if I want to make any money I may have to venture into the printed world. The only question is what do you write about that people will read?....steamy romance...based on true events maybe?...hehe...or sci-fi? I have a few ideas in mind...so the question I have to answer is what do I see in front of me?...and do I want to see it? What do you see in front of you?
Karma?
So I know...you guys are waiting for the stinky sock story...and that one will be out soon...today I am feeling rather low. I need someone to blame, so I am going to blame Karma. What is karma exactly? If you are a bad person bad things will happen to you? Is that Karma?....you tell a lie and it comes back to bite big time? Is that Karma? I have managed to avoid Karma as much as possible in my life and thought I was doing well until now. I look back on my past relationships and realize...I have never had my heart broken...what? how can that be? 29 years with not a single heartbreak? I can just smell Karma waiting around the corner to jump out and pounce on my parade...yup....it did...but it didn't pounce...it snuck up behind me...beat me over the head...made me cry until I vomited, and then made sure my heart was left battered and broken. I think it was there waiting...whispering in my ear the whole time...saying..."I am going to get you" like Freddy Kruger Karma! and the kicker is that Karma wasn't done with me yet..oh no! Karma ruined my vacation! That's right...I missed my Florida trip this year...Roxie arrived home from Florida the day Karma struck. I have been counting down to Vegas since about 80 sleeps...singing it out...posting as my status....updating my "msn" type thing at work...telling everyone...and now I probably won't be going at all. Yikes...what was I thinking buying a non refundable and non transferable plane ticket? Oh right..I remember now..."I am in love"...."I am in love"....what is that whispering? oh...must just be the wind. BAH! I would like to tell Karma where to shove it! SHOVE IT! There....although that doesn't make me feel any better right now. I am still in my jammies...I have not eaten...showered...or brushed my teeth today...if I hide under the covers Karma may leave me alone. Damage is done....what could be left?
Monday, October 11, 2010
Drive the I-95
I was going to write a book about my travels...but then I got to thinking...who actually reads books anymore?, and who in their right mind would read a book about the travels of two crazy women?..Blogging seems to be easier and faster...I have so many stories to share so I guess I will start with the days on the road.
My best friend Roxie and I take a trip every year to Florida. We choose to drive because we were not born with wings and therefore we are meant to keep our feet on the ground...or on wheels:) You would assume that a 36 hour drive to Florida and 36 hours back would just about kill you or make you want to kill each other, but honestly the drive is almost the best part. Roxie usually does most of the driving and I am the self appointed navigator/DJ. I can actually navigate the entire trip without getting lost now:) That's right now...I have taken us off the beaten path a couple of times. We have also had a few close encounters with death...ok one in particular and that wasn't our fault! Who puts an exit on the left side of the highway? Oh right....Americans lol. It is such a great idea to have a highway exit to another highway on the left hand side when you are on the far right and need to cross over 6 lanes of traffic traveling at 120km an hour. Anyway we are still alive to talk about it...although I did break my big toe nail on the heater trying to brace myself for impact. I didn't know that an SUV could stop so quickly. We just barely missed the arse end of the car in front of us....I think Roxie's dad keeps us safe on our travels. He hangs out in the glove compartment...don't even ask cause you don't want to know.
We have logged 360hrs of driving time on the I-95 which starts in Houlton, Maine and literally ends in the middle of Miami Florida. I know this because I have seen the sign with my very own eyes..."The I-95 ends here" I was secretly hoping there would be a big surprise party at the end for those of us who have made it but no...it ended in a convertible with a broken top in the pouring rain...that is a whole other story...I will save that juicy one for later. 5 years and 5 trips with plenty of crazy stories. It is a dangerous world out there for two women traveling a great distance on our own, but we were determined to do it! Our travels have either been in a van or an SUV with the backseats taken out or folded down. Sleeping in the back of the vehicle saves money however I strongly recommend purchasing a sleeping bag that will keep you warm at temps of minus 10-20...yup traveling in Nov, Dec can be cold. I think my bladder actually froze at one point...I know Roxie's jaw did. The trick is to find 24hr gas station parking lots with lots of light to crash in...bonus if you can find one next to a Cracker barrel restaurant for breakfast. mmmmmm Cracker barrell! make it a point to find a few. If you look carefully you can find a 24hr gas station with showers and a Cracker barrell next door somewhere in Connecticut. If you are planning this trip you will probably make it to Rhode Island the first night and if you are lucky Connecticut. Let the gas station worker know you are sleeping in the vehicle so they can keep an eye out for you....that way they won't look at you as funny coming out of the washroom in your jammie pants with your toothbrush in hand. I also recommend packing a sleep mask especially if you are on the road with Roxie...she will tell you it is much safer to park under the brightest light in the parking lot.
Be very careful choosing a place to use the washroom. I recommend finding a place with the washrooms on the inside of the building. If the washroom doors are outside stay away! I especially don't recommend using washrooms anywhere in Alexandria, Virginia....ick! There is one gas station washroom where you have to hold your breath...it smells like something ate something dead then died. The toilet seat was outside the building and the toilet itself was covered in black mold....I am soooo glad my leg muscles are strong enough for the hovering maneuver. When you have to pee that bad you have to suck it up...I am sure the other motorists would not appreciate a pee shower otherwise I just might have stuck by arse out the window.
Speaking of needing to use the washroom and Alexandria Virginia....if you can avoid it all together please do. In 5 years of travel we hit traffic there every time....and I mean every time! Doesn't matter if it is 1 in the afternoon or 2am you will hit bumper to bumper traffic for hours on end. If you can't find a way around bring a bucket. No joke. New York city wasn't as traffic packed as Alexandria.
Maine has lots of pot holes so watch out for those. There is one pot hole that Roxie and I lovingly call the "Pot Hole to Hell". This particular pot hole gave us a flat tire only 3 1/2 hours into our trip. Roxie tried to convince me that it wasn't flat....but I know that flapping sound. We ended up in the parking lot at Walmart calling CAA. Another thing I highly recommend is CAA. We managed to get a tow to the Sears and the cute mechanic drove us to Olive Garden in his BMW while we waited. MMMM ravioli di portobello is to die for. I dream of Olive Garden often and can't live without it. While having dinner the waitress told us her story of hitting the same pot hole and it bent her rim! OH NO! I thought...what if the rim is bent? Sears doesn't sell rims and this was a Saturday evening. Low and behold I was right....the rim was bent and the parts stores were closed. The service manager at the Sears happened to know the parts store guy and called in a favor. The parts store guy waited for us:) After a mini melt down we managed to get the rim and tire replaced and were so grateful that the Sears guys stayed behind after hours to help us out. I think Roxie has a picture of us with the tow truck in the Walmart parking lot...I will have to dig that one out and post it.
I have so many I-95 stories to share...so this is just the beginning of our adventures. Tune in next time for the stinky sock story:)
My best friend Roxie and I take a trip every year to Florida. We choose to drive because we were not born with wings and therefore we are meant to keep our feet on the ground...or on wheels:) You would assume that a 36 hour drive to Florida and 36 hours back would just about kill you or make you want to kill each other, but honestly the drive is almost the best part. Roxie usually does most of the driving and I am the self appointed navigator/DJ. I can actually navigate the entire trip without getting lost now:) That's right now...I have taken us off the beaten path a couple of times. We have also had a few close encounters with death...ok one in particular and that wasn't our fault! Who puts an exit on the left side of the highway? Oh right....Americans lol. It is such a great idea to have a highway exit to another highway on the left hand side when you are on the far right and need to cross over 6 lanes of traffic traveling at 120km an hour. Anyway we are still alive to talk about it...although I did break my big toe nail on the heater trying to brace myself for impact. I didn't know that an SUV could stop so quickly. We just barely missed the arse end of the car in front of us....I think Roxie's dad keeps us safe on our travels. He hangs out in the glove compartment...don't even ask cause you don't want to know.
We have logged 360hrs of driving time on the I-95 which starts in Houlton, Maine and literally ends in the middle of Miami Florida. I know this because I have seen the sign with my very own eyes..."The I-95 ends here" I was secretly hoping there would be a big surprise party at the end for those of us who have made it but no...it ended in a convertible with a broken top in the pouring rain...that is a whole other story...I will save that juicy one for later. 5 years and 5 trips with plenty of crazy stories. It is a dangerous world out there for two women traveling a great distance on our own, but we were determined to do it! Our travels have either been in a van or an SUV with the backseats taken out or folded down. Sleeping in the back of the vehicle saves money however I strongly recommend purchasing a sleeping bag that will keep you warm at temps of minus 10-20...yup traveling in Nov, Dec can be cold. I think my bladder actually froze at one point...I know Roxie's jaw did. The trick is to find 24hr gas station parking lots with lots of light to crash in...bonus if you can find one next to a Cracker barrel restaurant for breakfast. mmmmmm Cracker barrell! make it a point to find a few. If you look carefully you can find a 24hr gas station with showers and a Cracker barrell next door somewhere in Connecticut. If you are planning this trip you will probably make it to Rhode Island the first night and if you are lucky Connecticut. Let the gas station worker know you are sleeping in the vehicle so they can keep an eye out for you....that way they won't look at you as funny coming out of the washroom in your jammie pants with your toothbrush in hand. I also recommend packing a sleep mask especially if you are on the road with Roxie...she will tell you it is much safer to park under the brightest light in the parking lot.
Be very careful choosing a place to use the washroom. I recommend finding a place with the washrooms on the inside of the building. If the washroom doors are outside stay away! I especially don't recommend using washrooms anywhere in Alexandria, Virginia....ick! There is one gas station washroom where you have to hold your breath...it smells like something ate something dead then died. The toilet seat was outside the building and the toilet itself was covered in black mold....I am soooo glad my leg muscles are strong enough for the hovering maneuver. When you have to pee that bad you have to suck it up...I am sure the other motorists would not appreciate a pee shower otherwise I just might have stuck by arse out the window.
Speaking of needing to use the washroom and Alexandria Virginia....if you can avoid it all together please do. In 5 years of travel we hit traffic there every time....and I mean every time! Doesn't matter if it is 1 in the afternoon or 2am you will hit bumper to bumper traffic for hours on end. If you can't find a way around bring a bucket. No joke. New York city wasn't as traffic packed as Alexandria.
Maine has lots of pot holes so watch out for those. There is one pot hole that Roxie and I lovingly call the "Pot Hole to Hell". This particular pot hole gave us a flat tire only 3 1/2 hours into our trip. Roxie tried to convince me that it wasn't flat....but I know that flapping sound. We ended up in the parking lot at Walmart calling CAA. Another thing I highly recommend is CAA. We managed to get a tow to the Sears and the cute mechanic drove us to Olive Garden in his BMW while we waited. MMMM ravioli di portobello is to die for. I dream of Olive Garden often and can't live without it. While having dinner the waitress told us her story of hitting the same pot hole and it bent her rim! OH NO! I thought...what if the rim is bent? Sears doesn't sell rims and this was a Saturday evening. Low and behold I was right....the rim was bent and the parts stores were closed. The service manager at the Sears happened to know the parts store guy and called in a favor. The parts store guy waited for us:) After a mini melt down we managed to get the rim and tire replaced and were so grateful that the Sears guys stayed behind after hours to help us out. I think Roxie has a picture of us with the tow truck in the Walmart parking lot...I will have to dig that one out and post it.
I have so many I-95 stories to share...so this is just the beginning of our adventures. Tune in next time for the stinky sock story:)
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